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26 May 2012 @ 12:14 pm
Alphabet (Q, R)  
Title: Alphabet (Q, R)
Parts: A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | L | M | N | O | P | S | T | U | V | W | X | Y | Z
Pairing: Daniel Agger/Fernando Torres
Rating: PG, PG-13
Disclaimer: It sucks always having to come up with new ways to say how much they don't belong to me.
Summary: Okay, I never thought it would take me this long to post all these fics since I already finished them all ages ago. So apologies for that, but I hope I'll be able to finish posting this project soon. :) Two very short ones this time.


Sometimes, despite their often hectic schedules, they still had them. Mornings where everything was quiet and warm, when the world outside was still asleep. When sunbeams would fall on the white sheets of the rumpled bed, or rain would patter against the glass of the window, when sleep released them slowly and gently from its hold instead of the harsh sounds of the alarm startling them awake.

Then they would stay just where they were, sometimes blink the sleep in their eyes away to watch the other, sometimes keep them closed and just let their hands rest on sleep-warm skin, hold each other and just breathe.

Sometimes they would talk, about whatever there was on their minds, conversations that could remain quiet, or be light of heart, when they would touch and laugh and hug just for the sake of it.

Sometimes they said nothing at all. They would draw shapes on each other’s skin with their fingertips, or trace the marks they had left, both the visible and the invisible. They would count freckles or lashes, or memorise the shape of the other’s hand or nose or spine or hip.

One of these mornings, when everything was quiet and familiarly warm and no word between them had yet greeted the day, Fernando watched as Dan took his hand in both of his own and let his fingertips slowly explore each patch of skin, each nail and knuckle and joint and line. And for some reason Fernando was struck by the thought of how he hadn’t been in Dan’s life yet when he had smiled for the first time. Neither for the moment he had taken his first step, or spoken his first word. He hadn’t been there when Dan had taken his first hits or his first triumphs, and his heart stung a little at the thought of how he had missed his first time falling in love, his very first kiss.

Then Dan brought his hand up to place a soft, lingering kiss to each of his knuckles, and Fernando remembered that he might have missed years of Dan’s life, experiences that had formed him and had made him who he was today – but that, in the end, it wasn’t that bad.

Because even when he hadn’t been there, he had always just been on his way to him.


For the longest time, Fernando couldn’t look at himself when he was wearing blue.

He couldn’t admit it to anyone else, of course not. And maybe he’d just been blind. Maybe he should have known. But there was no use crying over spilt milk, he’d made his bed, now he had to lie in it. But when he did, all that he felt was numb.

Only when the feeling of unravelling at the seams, of disappearing from the face of the earth, of simply not existing anymore got too much, he took out the shirt from the darkest corners of his closet, and wrapped himself up in it. The vibrant red and the white 5 on the back the only thing that filled his heart with… life.

And sometimes when he wore it, he took out a knife and cut open his palm.

It’s not that bad anymore today. His eyes have gotten used to the blue, and he thinks it doesn’t look that bad on him anymore. He got better.

He still has that shirt in his closet, and he still takes it out sometimes. Remembers the lines the knife drew on his skin.

Relieved when he remembers that, after all, he still bleeds red.

Current Mood: pensivepensive
sophie_lfc on May 26th, 2012 04:41 pm (UTC)
The first one is soooo very cute. :D I like the thought of them spending a quiet time in bed. :)
And the second one... WHOOOOOA.
I'm done and dead. :o

Great work! :)

Edited at 2012-05-26 04:42 pm (UTC)
Narya: Fernando S/Wnarya86 on June 3rd, 2012 04:02 pm (UTC)
I really love such quiet, serene moments too. :) And, well, the second one kind of counter-balanced that.

Thanks a lot for the comment, dear. :)
tetila: the Huntertetila on May 26th, 2012 04:49 pm (UTC)
#1 I like the mood of it. It's so calm and peaceful it transmits exactly those feelings while reading. And I love the hand thing. I adore this.

#2 Yeah... ouch. I hurt for him here. Still so very conflicted :-/ He said it himself that he felt a bit lost and I guess in some way I feel bad for him about that, but... sigh, you know?
Narya: Bluenarya86 on June 3rd, 2012 04:04 pm (UTC)
Thehe. I just remembered that your last alphabet fic was just as calm and peaceful. ♥

Yeah, I know. :( It actually doesn't hurt anymore, for me, but it's still good to see that he didn't exactly get what he wanted, even though he got what he wanted... oh, you know.
musicaldreamselisa88 on May 26th, 2012 11:58 pm (UTC)
The first one was so nice and pleasant. It was warm, it made me smile, it was so so beautiful.
And the second one, my god, it almost kills me.
The vibrant red and the white 5 on the back the only thing that filled his heart with… life.
seriously? I think this, and this :Relieved when he remembers that, after all, he still bleeds red. did it for me.
It is so perfectly broken. I do wish that now he has achieved his goal, he's happy.
and sometimes I get silly and nostalgic and think that maybe, just maybe now that he's got what he wanted, he'll come back

Beautiful. As usual. ♥

Edited at 2012-05-27 12:00 am (UTC)
Narya: Football Lovenarya86 on June 3rd, 2012 04:06 pm (UTC)
Omg, I totally had that thought too already. The 'Now he has what he left for, can't he come back...?' even though it's totally stupid and wouldn't work out well for anyone. I think. But, yeah, I know what you mean. :(
musicaldreamselisa88 on June 3rd, 2012 04:34 pm (UTC)
I don't think it's all that crazy to think like that. I do remember reading somewhere that whilst he wasn't unhappy, he wasn't all that pleased with the role he's been playing at the club. So... Yeah, I dunno.. Just imagining him and Luis up front is mouth-watering.
But yeah, just silly dreams *sigh*
Narya: Fernando S/Wnarya86 on June 19th, 2012 02:45 pm (UTC)
I know, that much was evident from his interview the day after the CL finale. And I know... I just need to stop thinking about it. >.
(Deleted comment)
Narya: Eyenarya86 on June 3rd, 2012 04:08 pm (UTC)
Aawww thank you. :D I don't know, I have these obsession with last sentences in stories, they kind of need to be perfect. ^^
dance! dance! wake up the sleepers!: the fallen oneslady_quark on May 28th, 2012 08:45 pm (UTC)
the first one is written so beautifully soft it made my heart sigh. the second one is written so painfully beautiful that it made my heart sink.

I just love what you're able to do with them, to do to them, every single time. Thank you for writing them the ways you do, your ficlets are always something special to me.
Narya: FA Dan&Nandonarya86 on June 3rd, 2012 04:10 pm (UTC)
Hehe yeah, they're a nice contrast in that.

Aaww thank you so much, I really really appreciate hearing something like that. :)
vicky86xvicky86x on June 4th, 2012 06:34 pm (UTC)
I'm in love with the atmosphere of Quiet! Those are the best morinings, when you can just stay in bed as long as you want and when you have someone next to you to share this quiet moment with! :)

Favorite line: Because even when he hadn’t been there, he had always just been on his way to him.

I couldn't really read the second one :-/
Narya: Fernando S/Wnarya86 on July 1st, 2012 08:55 pm (UTC)
I agree, I wish I had those mornings much more often!

And I completely understand about the second one. I have to say I feel a little detached by now from all those feelings, it's like... a faint memory of the fact that I was fond of him once? I don't know. I still love my character, but the player... *shrugs*
Stephanie: Nando in b&wtitania_torres on December 12th, 2012 01:36 am (UTC)
i love quiet. love the idea of those sleepy mornings. the idea that even when they weren't together they were on their way to each other. so peaceful and beautiful.

red hurts. i can feel his pain, i can feel that need to pull out the shirt, the need to prove that he still bleeds red. beautiful.
Narya: Eyenarya86 on January 6th, 2013 03:45 pm (UTC)
Mhmm, I wish those were things I had too...
And I wrote Red really long ago, back when the pain was still much fresher. ^^